Proud of Myself

I’m proud of myself. Perhaps it’s not for doing anything magnificent or outstanding; but for me, this journey has been just that.

A friend tonight was telling me how much they hate it here, and how every day they find something new to give them reason to leave. I remember feeling that exact way when I first moved here. The cons I could list would take too long to mention – this place is not home; never has been, and never will be. However, the few pros that do exist are what keep me here: the ability to write and record my own music; collaborating; meeting new people who have the same passion as me. The (very) few good friends I’ve found also make it a bit easier.

When M was saying how he can’t wait to leave, I responded with, “I’ve been saying that since the day I moved here.” I thought back to the actual day and how distraught I was. The actual thought process of “I could book a flight and be home in a few days; I won’t know what I’m missing if I leave before the semester starts,” went through my mind. The anguish and tears are indescribable. But I stuck it out – with great and many thanks to my Mom. Every moment brings a new challenge, and I still can’t think further ahead than a semester or I get freaked out, but I am so glad I came here. If not for anything else, but at the very least, an experience. Things I never would have done before; people I never would have met; places I never would have seen.

Truth be told, I really can’t wait to graduate and move back closer to home, but that doesn’t mean I’m taking what I have here for granted.

So yes, I am proud of myself. February of 2011, all it would have taken was for somebody to seriously say “Come back” and I would have. But that was over a year and a half ago, and I’ve only got one more to go. It’s been a big obstacle for me but I am overcoming it – and I get to sing, too!

Youtube.com/AbbyGardnerMusic   (<--- new video here)
Soundcloud.com/AbbyGardner

There have been a lot of dramas as of late within my group of friends, but these guys I feel pretty safe around 

(until we all move away, at least). (And yes. That is me on top of them. after a pillow fight.)

In the last month I’ve been to the DrumScene Live clinic in Brisbane to watch Pete Lockett, Dom Famularo, Thomas Lang and Dave Weckl rock out.

I’ve explored Mt. Tamborine and got a small juke-box-winding toy that plays Hey Jude.

Went to the Gold Coast show (a fair)

And seen various live performances, mostly by my peers.

My first gig with Emily went really well – unfortunately there are no pictures or video so you’re going to have to trust me! I even had to remind my partners of the lyrics to a song right on stage, but everyone had a laugh and we just kept playing. Afterward the other performers gathered around and jammed for an hour with plans for another one in a few weeks.

I also met a lovely Irish guy. But my camera was broken while he was here so I have no physical evidence of this.

Anyway, all in all, looking back to how low I felt when I first moved here, I'm proud that I've made it so far. I've grown in many ways and I hope it never stops. Still miss home and I hope everyone is well.


<3 A